Parents revisited.

It's really kind of foolish how in all my thoughts about the future, I know exactly how I want things to go. I think that I know exactly how I want to raise my kids, how I want my husband to act, and how I will behave as a wife and mother. In reality though, I wonder if I will actually be able to carry out all of my ideals.

In recent generations, there seems to have been a sort of pervasive arrogance towards how we think of older generations, especially our parents' generation. I know that I so often naturally think that my future plans are going to be better than my parents'. After all, I know what they've failed at and what I will be sure to avoid when I am older. The truth is, I don't really know what my parents went through to give us kids the experience and life we had. Maybe they did fail in some areas, or could have improved in others, but they have also succeeded in many, many things.

If I stepped back and looked at Mom and Dad objectively, they really are incredibly capable individuals. They left their homeland when they were my age and moved halfway across the world to a place that doesn't speak their native language. It is impressive how they were able to get a Master's in the US, raise 4 kids, homeschool, and now preach, teach, and counsel everywhere.

Chances are, I probably won't even be able to match what they've done, so how foolish and arrogant of me to think that I can improve on them and manage my future family and marriage better.

It's easy to observe their failures and think that I would never make the same mistakes. But I'm sure that there are some things that are much more complicated and difficult to manage when you are actually in the moment. For example, I've always told myself that I will never spank my children while angry. I will be consistent with family rules. I will train my babies to sleep by themselves. I will teach my children Latin and Greek at an early age. Etc etc etc. But the fact is, I'm sure they had the very same ideals I have. Maybe facing the situations firsthand is much more difficult than sitting here theorizing and planning.

It's not that I think it's pointless to have ideals. It's the arrogance of thinking that I will be more capable and careful to do better than my parents. It's the wrong mentality to have. I should rather be looking up to them and hoping to emulate them in the good things they've accomplished. The same goes for the other adults of their generation who have been a part of my life. I want to be looking for the things I can strive to imitate, instead of thinking that I can be a better woman.

It's quite true how they say experience is the best teacher. I will never know how much the older generations know until I have experienced it for myself. Once I have to deal with a sick or rebellious child, then I will probably be in awe at how my parents survived four.

Why does my generation have such a distrustful attitude towards older folks? Why do we distrust their experiences and wisdom so much? What is it that makes us think we know better? Perhaps it's just natural human pride. We see their errors and are confident we would never do the same in their shoes, but we really won't know until we experience the same for ourselves. Let's cultivate an attitude of humility toward older generations. There's so much to be gained.